Things that make you go hmmmmm...

So I'm sitting there on the potty, minding my own business and taking my morning tinkle, just like I do every other day of my life, right? As I'm looking out the window, I'm off in lala land, enjoying the scenery and just waiting for my bladder to finish emptying. All of a sudden, something appears in my line of vision - this ...thing, this huuuuge crawling thing! So it scares me enough that I jumped and managed to pee down my thigh before I righted myself and figured out what it was. A fly... a humongous, ugly, hairy fly! I mean this thing was almost an inch long and as wide as it was long!

Now I've lived here behind this dairy farmer's field for over thirty years, and I've seen me some flies, okay? When that guy opens the barn doors every spring, we get us some flies. I'm talking those big ol', fugly horse flies that look like they can pick you up and cart you away! This one was a monster, I'm telling you - a healthy, fat monster crawling around on my window screen!

So it dawns on me, "how'd this thing get in between the window and the screen??" 'Cuz this fat, healthy dude was traipsing and flying all around inside the screen which is tight in its track and doesn't have any holes in it. Annnnd, it's bloody cold out there! It's below freezing; night before last, it was 10 degrees! How'd this monster even stay alive in those temperatures??? A mutant, I say, I've got me a mutant ninja fly trapped inside my window.

Wonder how long it will live?? I'm betting on 3 days - whaddaya think?