A Stunning Senior Moment

(I got this in an email from a dear friend and just had to share the moment... ;) )

Apparently, a self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one" the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon. Our space probes have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, ships and electric and hydrogen cars, cell phones. Computers with light-speed processing... And more."

After a brief silence the senior citizen responded as follows:

"You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young ... so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation?"

The applause was amazing.

So, what'd you do today??...

... ehh, not much -- just washed my pits.


Peach pits, that is. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever picture myself washing ... no, no, make that scrubbing ... peach pits!! With a vegetable brush, no less! And soap and water. I mean, really, who does that? Who goes to all that trouble?

*timidly raising hand*... me.

Ever since I got the photography bug with Project 365 last year, I find myself looking at and seeing things I never paid a bit of attention to before. I crawl around on the floor, on the ground, over and under things, noticing so much more than I ever did and seeing things with a new eye. Like textures and shadows and reflections.

So, while freezing peaches the other day, I was struck not only by the shape of a peach pit, but by the unique texture as well. Hmmmm, thought I ... these might make an interesting picture someday ... and set some aside to deal with later.

Today they got dealt with and are nicely lined up and drying on a paper towel on my kitchen counter.

I know, I know - I need to get out more...

A little mid-week humor...

This week's theme is Cowboys...go here for more giggles.




Yeah, buddy - I have got to get me one of these for my next cowboy party! A real bargain for only about $75 US dollars!
(Kind of gives the phrase, "horse's ass" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?)



Or maybe I'll save my pennies for a quick trip up to NYC to see the Naked Cowboy, the street performer who prances around Times Square in nothing but his guitar and undies!

Cowboy Humor

A cowboy from Texas goes to Australia for a vacation.

There he meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
"Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."

Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. "And what are those?" he asks.

The Aussie asks with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.

"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."

"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"

Cowboy Quotes

Old Cowboys Never Die
They Just Smell That Way!

Never Squat With Your Spurs On!

There never was a horse that couldn't be rode;
Never was a cowboy who couldn't be throwed.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

A smart-ass just don't fit in a saddle.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Cowboys talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.
John Wayne

Have a great hump day!! :)

Having a little fun...

(I saw this on a message board I frequent and got my giggle for the day...)

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went to Worthing and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So my wife called him a Shithead . He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age!!!

Babies & monkeys & giggles

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"

In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized with her and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

~ ~ ~

*snicker* ;-D