A little mid-week humor...
This week's theme is Cowboys...go here for more giggles.
Yeah, buddy - I have got to get me one of these for my next cowboy party! A real bargain for only about $75 US dollars!
(Kind of gives the phrase, "horse's ass" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?)
Or maybe I'll save my pennies for a quick trip up to NYC to see the Naked Cowboy, the street performer who prances around Times Square in nothing but his guitar and undies!
A cowboy from Texas goes to Australia for a vacation.
There he meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking.The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
"Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. "And what are those?" he asks.
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Cowboy Quotes
Old Cowboys Never Die
They Just Smell That Way!
Never Squat With Your Spurs On!
There never was a horse that couldn't be rode;
Never was a cowboy who couldn't be throwed.
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
A smart-ass just don't fit in a saddle.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Cowboys talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.
John Wayne
They Just Smell That Way!
Never Squat With Your Spurs On!
There never was a horse that couldn't be rode;
Never was a cowboy who couldn't be throwed.
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
A smart-ass just don't fit in a saddle.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Cowboys talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.
John Wayne
Have a great hump day!! :)
2 Comments:
Love the lariat one & the drink upstream advice.
Being an Aussie I especially like the Aussie/Texan joke
Welcome to Hump Day Humor! I love your header pic! Grasshoppers & Bait-LOL! Love it! "Never squat with your spurs on"-my favorite! Thanks for sharing this week!
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