Friday Odds and Ends...

from Friday Fiver
LJ's Original Friday Meme - 05 May 2006

Viva Mexico!
1. Have you ever been to Mexico?
No

2. Do you know anyone who is currently in the military?
Yes

3. What is the last party you attended?
probably a grandchild's birthday

4. What do you think about President Bush saying that the United States' National Anthem should only be sung in English?
I think he's right - learn the language or remain respectfully silent during the singing of a country's National Anthem, just like I'd do in another country if I didn't know the language.

5. French fries or freedom fries?
Oh puh-leeze! - they're French fries. They've been French fries for all of my years and I'm not about to start calling them stupid Freedom fries to suit the tender sensibilities of some moronic over-reactive. I'm not in the habit of trying to re-write history.


from

Top 5 songs with/or about "space" and if you're feeling frisky 5 "spacey" albums.

1. Age of Aquarius - The 5th Dimension
2. Up Up And Away - The 5th Dimension
3. Space Oddity - David Bowie
4. Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra
5. Spaceman - Nilsson

(not feeling frisky enough for "spacey" albums... or at least my memory isn't!) ;)


from

It was a banner week for some LOLing in the city... I couldn't "eat just one!"

Cosmo Quiz Says No Go
Tall girl smoking cigarette on the sidewalk: You're not my type.
Short guying selling CDs on the sidewalk: What do you mean?
Tall girl: First of all, you're short. Second of all, you're selling CDs on the sidewalk.

--6th Ave & 12th St
~~~~~
He's a Service Rat
Deli guy: You can't have that dog in here.
Lady: But he's a service dog!
Deli guy: What? We'll get a ticket if you have a dog in here.
Lady: He's a service dog. He's just like a seeing eye dog.
Deli guy: What is he, a chihuahua? A poodle? He's not a seeing eye dog.
Lady: He's a Pomeranian! And he's a service dog! He even has a little vest, do you need me to put him in his little vest?
Deli guy: He look like a rat with a wig on.
Lady: He's a service dog! You can't make me leave! He's just like a seeing eye dog!
Deli guy: But you're not blind!
Lady: I could sue you if you make me leave! I'll put him in his little vest, then you'll see!

--Bagel Mill, 88th & Lex
Overheard by: Loretta P.
~~~~~
It's Similar
Girl: So did you guys end up having sex last night?
Guy: No, we had Chinese food.

--6 train
Overheard by: Talia
~~~~~
Take Some Quinine. And Ritalin.
Girl #1: I don't feel well.
Girl #2: You look fine.
Girl #1: I think I have malaria.
Girl #2: I really don't think you do.
Girl #1: Do people get malaria in Nicaragua?
Girl #2: I don't know, I don't care, and furthermore, we were in Brazil.

--JFK
~~~~~
Wednesday One-Liners - Take Me Out
Drunk guy: Jesus Christ! My Grandma catches better than you! And she can't even speak English! Or is alive!

--Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Renee B.
___

Chick: I don't like when they name airports after people. They should use normal names... like LaGuardia.

--Kennedy Airport
~~~~~
To-ga! To-ga!
Hipster #1: But look how easy it is to pick out the tourists. I mean, look, there's a tourist. There's a tourist. It's so frickin' easy to tell who belongs here and who doesn't.
Hipster #2: Yeah, like why don't they even try to blend in while they're here? It's like they're trying to be Greek when they're in Rome.
Hipster #1 is totally lost.
Hipster #2: You know, 'cause when you're in Rome, you're supposed to act Roman.
Hipster #1: Oh, I've never been to Italy.

--6 train
Overheard by: The tourist in their midst
~~~~~
Her Parents Will Be Pleased
Dude #1: So that new girl is pretty hot.
Dude #2: I'd like to kiss her vagina. Closed mouth 'cause I'm respectful like that.

--6 train
~~~~~
It's Complicated
Girl: Did you just fart?
Guy: That's an awkward question.
Girl: Is that a yes?

--Silver Center, NYU
~~~~~
Poor Word Choice
Guy #1: I just left a major deposit sitting in that toilet.
Guy #2: You didn't flush it?
Guy #1: It was an automatic flusher and nothing happened. There was a guy waiting to go in and I just gave him a shit-eating grin when I walked out. I mean, what am I supposed to do?
Guy #2: I wouldn't use the term "shit-eating grin" the next time you tell that story.

--Penn Station

The Cat
The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye,
the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear,
an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree.
~Colette~

That's a wrap...